WHO’S GOING TO PAY ME?
The wedding industry has become one of the fastest growing and most expensive in the world. Weddings have gone from simple and traditional to quirky – a drive-by wedding chapel in Vegas – to super-luxurious: an upscale wedding in Dubai.
The rich will order their wedding suit or gown from Paris or Italy and will buy jewels from across the globe. Couples, who can afford it, will fly everyone from LA to Venice to join them for the wedding of their dreams. Meanwhile, many couples will happily keep costs low by getting married in their backyard.
Sometimes couples spend extravagantly on their wedding, forgetting that just down the road there will be credit card payments to make, a house to buy and children to educate. Wedding planning has to go hand in hand with planning for one’s future – and the expenses that come along with it.
Yes, it is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, and it’s tempting to tell yourself you will worry about what it costs later, maybe asking family for help, or relying on the wedding cash gifts you will receive. Will you be saddling yourself with a burdensome debt? Regret is a terrible way to start a marriage. Be sure the two of you are on the same page, have talked about where the money is coming from, and be clear about a budget. The following story will give you a reason to be sure about that.
Client referrals are the main funnel for my video business. In fact, on average, every client I serve refers me to about five other couples. I was recommended to Joe and Chelsie by a satisfied couple I had worked for.
Joe was in private practice as a neurologist, and Chelsie was a dentist in a hospital. They worked not too far from each other in the city, so they regularly had lunch together – most times Joe bringing food to Chelsie because of her schedule. They were together for about a year and a half before they got married, but they knew they were meant for each other, so they started planning early on.
Both came from wealthy families, and everyone was happy that their children were finally going to get married after some disappointments with previous relationships. The families would share the cost of the wedding. I overheard them saying that the total budget for the wedding was $62,000.
Chelsie was totally in charge of the wedding details. I hardly heard Joe talk at all, except when he was on the phone speaking to somebody.
This wedding was one of the best organized that I have ever shot. Everything was on time. There was one strange thing though: something felt weird about Joe’s attitude following the ceremony. He didn’t look happy, and since wedding videos are all about the expressions, reactions, and emotions on the faces of the newlyweds, I couldn’t help but notice. I had only met with him twice, so I didn’t know him well enough to understand why he looked so unhappy. I tried to cheer him up so he would smile for some of my shots.
I usually cut off after the newlyweds give their final word thanks to their guests, and I collect the second installment of my payment before I leave for the night. I get the remaining payment about two weeks later after I’ve delivered their video. Sometimes I edit in some honeymoon pictures depending on the package they choose.
Two weeks after Joe and Chelsie’s wedding, I called for them to come see the final footage and to check for any corrections before closing out our contract. I left messages for two days with no answer. Finally, after several days, Joe picked up. I greeted him enthusiastically.
“Hey! You know, I want to tell you that you did a great job all through the wedding from beginning to the end,” he said.
I had been a little worried when I couldn’t reach him, but now I felt some of my concern fade away. But then he continued,
“I have some bad news.”
“Really? What’s that?” I asked.
“We broke up,” he said.
“What? Joe, be serious!”
“I am dead serious,” he said.” We ended it on our honeymoon.” “After you spent all that money?” I spoke.
“Yes, after we spent all that money.”
I was thinking it was $62,000 spent for nothing. He went on,
“Guess how much we spent for the wedding.”
“How much?”
“$86,000 in total,” he said
” My dad was very angry about the whole situation.”
“What happened?”
“I guess the best thing I can tell you is that it just wasn’t meant to be. Chelsie was having a relationship with someone else. She’s with him now, and she’s going to have a baby.”
“Whoa,” I said.
“It’s a long story, but I’m moving out West, trying something new,” he said.
I sympathized with him, but I didn’t know the part he had played in the break-up.
“Um, I’m sorry for your loss?” I said.
“Thanks, don’t worry about it, it could have been worse. God knows, it’s for the best. Anyway, you’ve done your job, and you need to be paid.” “Right. OK.” I said.
“Our parents signed the contract with you, I guess you’ll have to finish it with them,” he said.
I sighed and realized I had more work to do before I would get paid. It was sad that Chelsie and Joe had broken up. They had seemed like a great match. I couldn’t believe after so much planning, and such an expense, the marriage was over already. I wondered about the emotional toll the breakup must be taking on everyone. At the same time, I had to wonder, was anyone going to pay me my money?
I called Chelsie’s parents to ask for the balance. Her father was mad because he put the bulk of his money into the wedding of his first daughter.
“Young man, I am not sure if you’ve heard the news,” he said.
I pretended I hadn’t.
“The marriage is over; we will not need the wedding video.”
“The marriage is over; we will not need the wedding video.”
I was conflicted. I felt bad for him, but I needed him to understand that I had done my job, regardless of what happened to the couple. Before I could say anything else, he said,
“Go to the groom’s family for your balance.”
I tried to get hold of Joe’s mother, but her phone was switched off. I went back to Joe Who told me paying the balance would be a waste of money for him.
Getting no further response from anyone, I gave up trying to collect my fee. I still have the video
My situation wasn’t exactly the same as Joe and Chelsie’s, but I understood the expenses, disappointments, and pains of a failed relationship
I am more aware than ever that it’s not the amount of money you spend on your wedding that makes it a successful marriage. That requires love, understanding, and being mindful and conscientious of everything happening around you.
As for me, a vendor, I want to remind everyone that the people who work on your wedding day must get paid, even if the wedding reception lasts longer than the marriage itself. You have an obligation to pay, no matter what, even if a contract wasn’t signed. Obviously, paying for services rendered is the right thing to do.